A Love Letter About Love
I think people get love and romance confused.
They are definitely totally different things (although not mutually exclusive) and I for one know which I prefer.
This Valentine’s weekend, an observer would probably suggest it was lacking a little romance at Chez Lambley. Unusually for me and my hubby, we had actually been organized this year and planned to go out for lunch (I know, lunch, not dinner, crazy right? That’s the way we roll). We’d booked a table, I’d bought new shoes, everything was sorted. Saturday night arrives and we were half watching Casualty (me working on my laptop, him playing some Star Wars game on the iPad), when we get a message to say that our babysitter (aka Grandma) had a tummy bug! Poor Grandma. So lunch or any other meal for two on Valentine’s Day wasn’t going to work out this year.
But it doesn’t really matter.
Of course it would have been nice to have a child free mealtime with a few glasses of bubbles but there will be another chance on another day. And actually, why do we need to show how much we love each other by going out to eat? And that’s when it hit me. Valentine’s Day isn’t about love. It’s about romance. Or at least the kind of romance that we’re sold in Rom-Coms. The kind of romance people gush about on social media …”Diamonds, from Tiffany, oh go on then…” accompanied by a close up shot of the jewellery in question and of course the famous Turquoise bag.
Don’t get me wrong, I love romance. I love the idea of romance. Who doesn’t? Walks on the beach, wind in your hair, cable knit sweater romance. And everyone should experience the butterflies when they meet ‘the one’. It’s wonderful. But when it comes to love…that’s so much better…and so much more than Valentine’s Day.
My husband brings me a cup of coffee most mornings.
He doesn’t speak to me because he knows I’m not a morning person he just brings it and leaves it for me. When it’s cold and icy outside, and he leaves the house before I do, he defrosts my car so that I don’t have to worry about it. When my mind is torturing me and I just need a mental break, he looks after the kids so I can go for a run, do a workout, have a coffee with a friend. When I recently had a shoulder operation and had a horrible reaction to the anesthetic, he got all up close and personal to help me into the bathroom even though I must have smelt like a Gorilla’s armpit.
I also have two beautiful boys who provide me with more love than I know what to do with.
So Valentine’s Day came and went.
We were altogether as a family. I had three boys with me, the youngest insisted on wearing Star Wars wellies all day – he’ll make someone a good catch one day! Mr Lambley made Sunday roast dinner like he usually does and I drank more red wine than I normally would.
We exchanged cards and he’d simply written ‘whatever else happens there’ll always be us’.
He isn’t eloquent on the subject of love very often, but when he is, it always makes me catch my breath.
So there you have it Valentine’s Day. You can keep your heady romance, we’ve been there and done it and it was great at the time. But I’ll take real love over Valentine’s Day any day of the week and cling onto it for as long as it will have me.